Barlow's Beef: Why I won't be having a knees up this Christmas

I am need of some help this week and I'm hoping you can advise me. As a lifetime runner I have experienced some arthritic knee pain. With occasional painkillers and supportive knee braces it's never interfered too much with my mobility until this year.
Any attempt to run now creates sufficient reaction to prevent me doing more than a steady walk. I consulted a physiotherapist who prescribed a course of stretching exercises that I carried out with very little improvement in my condition.

When I started to have pain even at rest I consulted an orthopaedic surgeon who sent me for an MRI scan which revealed sufficient wear on my joint to suggest a knee replacement was the only long term solution.

Whilst I'm still fit and reasonably mobile I opted for sooner rather than later and the knee is due to be replaced at the end of this month. What I hadn't counted on was the length of time needed to recuperate. I am told I will not be able to drive for two whole months, which is pretty serious news in itself.

Given my work rehabilitating difficult and unruly dogs I have no idea how long it will be before my new polythene/metal replacement joint will stand up to all the pulling and lunging that is the default behaviour of the dogs I work with.

I'm not concerned about the surgery itself, what has to be has to be, but the rehabilitation process worries me somewhat. I have a list of dogs a mile long relying on me to help resolve their issues and I really don't want to let them down.

I have an automatic transmission on my vehicle but as it's my right knee that needs replacing that won't help getting me back on the road.

I know some of you will have had knee replacements and any help and advice you can offer will be greatly appreciated.

I might even dedicate my new knee to you (and save the old one for the dog). In any event if you do have any good suggestions to get me mobile as quickly as possible I would be most grateful.

Just a thought-what happens when I go through the security scanner at the airport?

"Sorry, sir, you can't take that leg on the plane with you."

Mmm...

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of wilmslow.co.uk.

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Barlows Beef, Vic Barlow