Wow... what a relief. I've been tossing and turning in my sleep wondering who would edit the London Standard. Those Russians won't allow their £1 investment to simply disappear.
Thankfully George Osborne (AKA Yoda) the right honourable Jedi for Tatton has answered the call.
"Such an exciting and challenging job. It's thrilled to take it on, I am."
Yoda, sorry... I mean George, intends to slip this editing job in between counselling his constituents and saving the Universe.
Evening Standard proprietor, Evgeny Lebedev said: "In George, we have appointed someone of huge political achievement," err...you might need to think that through again, Evgeny.
No... no I'm being picky. Just because as Shadow Chancellor he failed to spot the biggest financial crisis for a century doesn't mean George/Yoda does not have his finger on the pulse.
Wasn't it he who swayed the Brexit vote with his last minute threat to introduce a punitive budget should the vote go against the Prime Minister? What...it did go against the PM? Oh yes, you're right it was a disaster. Well at least it proved George/Yoda was no good at bullying.
Personally, I think Evgeny Lebedev could do a lot worse than George Osborne. Darth Vader is on the dark side and Chewbacacca is almost unintelligible. They couldn't edit anything.
I know many investors were alarmed when George was appointed an advisor to global investment giant Blackrock working one day per week but hey, look on the bright side... it could have been two.
In his spare time George or Yoda (not sure which) will be the first paid Kissinger Fellow at the Arizona-based McCain Institute for International Leadership. Kerching.
So, there you go, claims that being an MP is a full-time job is nonsense. George can do it with his eyes shut. Well, to be honest by the time he's finished jetting around North America, crisscrossing the Atlantic and banking his cash he'll have trouble keeping them open.
Remember being Chancellor of the Exchequer was his first gainful employment, he was, literally on work experience. He did that job with his eyes shut and it seems to have worked out very well (for him).
All great men must make sacrifice and in George's case it's his constituents but hey-ho someone has to suffer. You cannot become a Jedi Master without a wad of cash.
"It's greedy that I am."
And someday, George, the Empire is going to strike back.
The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of wilmslow.co.uk.