Barlow's Beef: Bletchley Park could not decipher this

Bletchley_Park_-_Draco2008 (1)

Do you have any idea what this means?

"integrating the operations and delivery teams thereby illuminating and reducing man marking and leveraging the buying power from their wider business combined with rigorous commercial and technical processes."

How about this?

"Areumdawo sarangseureowo
Geurae neo hey geurae baro neo hey
Jigeumbuteo gal dekkaji gabolkka
Oppa Gangnam Style"

I'll give you a clue: one's an incomprehensible stream of gibberish... and the other's a pop song.

You may be excused for getting them the wrong way round.

Gangnam Style is about an affluent area of South Korea written by an extremely talented local artist.

The other is a statement about managing road repairs written by an inept local council.

Why do they do it? Why do Cheshire East write such pretentious nonsense? Bletchley Park couldn't decipher some of their statements.

According to their website the council has 20 personnel in media and communications. What language do they speak?

Just take a look at their job titles e.g. 'Cabinet Member for Finance and Assets with the Cabinet Member for Regeneration'

You couldn't even fit that on an office door?

Here's an interesting one: Corporate Overview and Scrutiny Committee.

Precisely what are they over viewing and scrutinizing? Given the Lyme Green debacle, Physio Gate, and the appointment of a disbarred company director to the inner cabinet I'd say they've been sleeping on then job.
I really don't want to get into the Local Plan but come on...

If (and it's a BIG if) CEC really want to communicate with residents and communities about the biggest travesty to befall them since the inception of this accident-prone council they could not have made it more difficult.

To use a favourite word from their beloved corporate dictionary it could not be less 'transparent.' The chances of most residents understanding the full implications are as near to nil as makes no difference.

Even those with the time, patience and expertise to navigate through CEC's website are finding it difficult. I read this recently in our comments section:
'When I tried to add a second comment to another section I got this message "The event is not currently available for consultation." I tried several other sections, all the same- not available. I logged out and logged in again- same result, not available."

Personally I doubt most councillors understand The Local Plan yet stand idly by as our towns and communities are changed forever based on the need for affordable homes that will never be built.

Families in need are being exploited to justify the destruction of our open spaces without any real intent to build the homes required.

Meanwhile CEC are publishing incomprehensible web documents even they don't comprehend.

I suspect our grandchildren will not view this as our finest hour.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of

Photo: Bletchley Park by Draco2008, licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

Barlow's Beef, Vic Barlow


Here's what readers have had to say so far. Why not add your thoughts below.

Manuel Golding
Tuesday 3rd May 2016 at 4:52 pm
Where does one start, Vic?
The miserable excuse for a council that we are inflicted with, throes democracy out of the door. It has consistently ignored electors wishes and concerns, continues to reward its, in the main, inadequate councillors with jobs & responsibilities way beyond their abilities - hence we suffer the Lyme Green, Physio Gate, Tatton Park funfair charade, appointment of a disbarred director fiascoes, not forgetting lies, deceit, deceptions and to cap it all, total disregard for electors' concerns, as practiced by CEC.
To say the least, this council is morally corrupt.
As you rightly write, it loves to use one buzz word in particular "transparency". It uses that word as code for "opaque". Everything it does is the opposite of transparency, for example take the mumbo jumbo of the Local Plan (sorry to go there Vic), the great difficulties accessing its response portal, to name but two. All in the name of "transparency". The more opaque it is the happier this council's leadership & senior officers are.
We really do need a top to bottom clear out. It has happened with some London councils, now for CEC to be put into local government administration.
Pat Baker
Tuesday 3rd May 2016 at 11:03 pm
More from CEC Highways in an email response to my request to have the gullies cleared in Bedells Lane. They are silted right up to road surface level, with pools of water gathering after even the lightest of rainfall:

"This year’s gully emptying programme has been based around data gathered, over the preceding three years, from the Authority’s asset management system.
This targeted approach to gully emptying means that we no longer routinely empty all highway gullies on an annual basis. We will however attend on an ad-hoc basis where gullies are blocked and causing a danger to highway users or flooding to property, but not routinely simply because they are full.
From the details provided, this issue doesn’t meet our criteria to enable works to be programmed at this time."

And the heading of the email? "Highways enquiry resolved" !! So no chance of them being cleared, then?
Jon Williams
Wednesday 4th May 2016 at 10:35 am
Why do we bother paying Council Tax when you get THAT SORT OF RESPONCE !
Barry Stafford
Wednesday 4th May 2016 at 4:20 pm
I have also reported to gullies in Chapel lane just off Bethel Lane.I still have the CEC Highways 'Job number for January Now May. Gullies not emptied by Willy's the preferred sub-contractor.yet in March the gullies on two grids opposite the Health centre on Chapel Lane were cleared,for work on the Health centre.I asked the driver of said tanker.about my listed job on the other side of Chapel Lane.."Its not on my job sheet mate" Well says I, its only 50yds away.Gullies are blocked water cant drain away,causing frost damage to the newly laid tarmac."Cant help you,was the reply"So, four blocked grids on the Chapel lane are still blocked.Many years ago, this was a 3 monthly job by law, for all councils.Now its two years.Yet leaves,tree branches and litter don't wait for two years. Sack the lot!! Baz
Clive Cooksey
Wednesday 4th May 2016 at 5:48 pm
The boy Barlow does it again. Magnificent piece. You and this website are
the only guardians of the rubbish that is going on behind doors of this
council. The so called weekly newspapers are a busted flush. How people can
ignore this and complain none is farcical. Vic Victorious thats you mate.
James MacDonald
Thursday 5th May 2016 at 10:02 pm
Love the line "Bletchley Park couldn't decipher some of their statements.". Sharp but tragically true.